she didn’t crave the drugs or alcohol, but she craves the love she knows she deserves.


I did this to myself

Locked in a prison, isolated, put away, dealing with my own demons . Nobody to blame but me. Here I stay. Thoughts overwhelm me , I could barley breath. Thinking to myself will I ever be free? Me, myself, and I do more damage  than any other person can do to me . I put myself down never liking what I see in the mirror, seeing my past mistakes  and problems  appearing like the side mirror “objects are closer than they appear.” I thought they were slowly slipping away kinda like my faith. I’m like a ship lost at sea,  searching for a lighthouse to lead the way.

living or existing?

Let me ask you a simple question; are you living or just existing?

Living is being yourself, laughing at your mistakes, really loving those around you, appreciating every day you get the chance to live, laughing so hard you are okay with being sore the next day. Doing what you love and never wanting to look back.

Existing is another whole world of living except you aren’t really living. You are just in the moment but aren’t really paying attention. You listen to those talking to you but you don’t really grasp it, it  goes from one ear out the other. You laugh but you know yourself it’s not really your laugh. You hug those around you but it’s not what you want to do, so you’ll just play it off and act like it’s true. Your head is here, but your thoughts aren’t. You’re in the future, you’re in the past,  but never in the present. So, you are just existing not really living.

So tell me are you living or just existing?

you’re choosen

it has always been you from the beginning of time, before you were in your mothers womb. I have called you for a purpose in this life.You have been choosen to live a life and walk with I  god by your side. See if you read Jeremiah 29:11; You will see you are made for my plan. “A plan made to prosper you and not to harm you, a plan to give you hope and a future.”

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.